


To Good for Comfort

by AsYouWish_ForeverandAlways



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 11:29:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13500862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsYouWish_ForeverandAlways/pseuds/AsYouWish_ForeverandAlways
Summary: Moritz is sad because he really likes Melchior, but Ernst pulls him to a party, and is Melchior there? Maybe, but would Moritz make out with him if he was there? Maybe he would, but Melchior doesn't like him, right?





	To Good for Comfort

Why do I keep waiting for you to message me back?  
I feel so pathetic, I need to forget it  
It being, all of these feelings I have convinced myself that I feel  
Whenever you are near me  
Do I give you cause to fear me?  
This love in my heart, wants to find a way to start,   
To create something  
But you just ignore me  
Is your phone on silent,  
Do you not see me?  
Why-

I have to stop writing, because my tears are making it too difficult for me to see the screen of my laptop, I know that may sound a little dramatic, but that is just where I am at right now. 

Anyways, I get it that I might not be his type, sure. To be honest, I don’t think I would be anyone’s type. Who would be in love with an insecure boy who only ever thinks about being held but then can’t even hold a conversation with someone? I am terrible at everything I do, honestly, I feel like my whole existence is a disappointment to everyone who has ever known me.

Still, why hasn’t Melchior messaged me back? I mean, I thought we were actual best friends, in real life. But this app, Instsnapfaceler, apparently doesn’t agree with reality, or at least, what I perceive as reality. I sent him a photo of my cat Louise an hour ago, and he opened it, but hasn’t responded. 

I try to wipe up the tears, but they are relentless. I go to my phone and I hit shuffle, and the first song that plays is “Coin Operated Boy” by the Dresden Dolls. I don’t know how it got on my phone, it might have ben Ilse, but at this point I don’t care, and I care, wishing I had someone to hold and love me, and make me feel whole for once. 

At that exact moment, I hear a knock at the front door, or more precisely, the doorbell. 

I hear my dad get up, and open the door. Then I hear his voice bellow, “He’s upstairs”. 

Then I hear footsteps pattering up the stairs until they are outside my bedroom door and give a slight knock. 

A part of me hopes it is Melchior, and in that case, I wipe my face with my hands, to make my face seem less blotchy, and croak out a “Come in”.

Instead of Melchior’s strong chin and short brown hair, I am greeted by the timid face of Ernst. He is a sweet boy who consistently pays attention to me, but he isn’t Melchior. And, unfortunately, I am only desperately in love with him, and no one else, no matter how much this infatuation metaphorically kills me, I don’t know how to stop. 

Anyways, I see Ernst give one of his signature caring smiles. 

“Hanschen is having a party tonight, and I want to bring you with me because I don’t want to go alone. And I didn’t just text because I thought that if I did, you would ignore me and make up an excuse, and I really need you tonight Moritz.”

Wow, Ernst knows me very well. So well in fact that he adds, almost as an afterthought, “Oh, and Melchior is already there.”

I couldn’t get changed fast enough, even though I felt very uncomfortable about going to a high school party, I just really wanted to see Melchior. I didn’t care if this social setting killed me, maybe he would do something that would make me hate him forever and I can stop dreaming about him every night, or maybe he will kiss me. Either way, I put on a clean pair of ripped jeans and a blue hoodie and meet Ernst downstairs to head to the party.

\----

Parties are hot, loud, and filled with sweaty, drunk teenagers. I don’t like them, and will never go to one again. 

However, now that I am in the moment, I have to accept the situation until Ernst is ready to go home, because I said I wouldn’t leave without him, so I won’t. 

Even though every second is torturous. I am forced to watch Melchior laugh, and dance with Wendela, and whoever else. He didn’t even seem to notice me. I mean, I am standing in the corner sipping water, so I am not asking to be noticed, but still. Why? Why doesn’t he see me? Why isn’t he as destroyed by me as I am by him?

When they start playing another weird rap song, I start making my way to the kitchen to get more water until I am intercepted by a smiling Melchior. 

He doesn’t say anything while he takes my cup out of my hand and sets in on a random table. Then he grabs my hand and pulls me deeper into the living room to dance. 

Normally I would have slipped out of his grasp and hid, but, there was something about the smile on his lips, and the quirk in his eyes that made me want to get closer to the center of the storm than away from it. 

That song ended, and for a split second I thought that would be the end of it, of this, and I was ready to retreat and never think of love again. But then, “I Will Follow You Into the Dark” by Death Cab for Cutie began playing, and Melchior moved closer to me (I didn’t even know that was possible). Where we were dancing separately but still fairly close, he now moved to wrap his arms around my lower back, almost forcing me to wrap my arms around his neck. 

I was now pressed against him as the first words were being sung. “Love of mine…”

I looked up into his hazel eyes. Why was he toying with me like this? I know, deep down that after tonight, or even this song, we will go back to being friends, “just friends”. Or, maybe not even that. Maybe we will just be people who hang out sometimes because they have known each other since they started school as children, but are still basically strangers. 

“If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied...” I hear, as we just sway to the melancholy beat. 

“...I’ll follow you into the dark…” before the next verse, I suddenly am hit with an overwhelming fatigue, and I rest my head against his chest. I can feel the stickiness of his sweat through his shirt, but I can also feel his muscles, and with them, he holds me even tighter. 

This moment is too beautiful, and I almost don’t feel the tears leaking from my eyes.

“If there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks, I’ll follow you into the dark…” and with that, the song ends, and I feel certain, that whatever ever this is will end with the final cord. But then I feel an arm untangle from my back, and I feel a hand lift up my face. When I am again looking into his full, mischievous eyes, he kisses me, drawing me up to him. We are in the middle of a room full of people, but it feels as if it is only us. 

My immediate thought is that this is amazing, but my second is, what if he is drunk? But I didn’t taste any alcohol, so I am going to assume that he didn’t have any, or at least not enough to make him kiss me. 

When we finally pull apart, he moves so his mouth his close to my ear so that I could hear him over the sound of the next pop song being played. 

“I have wanted to do that for two years, I thought I scared you away.” His breath felt so intimate against my neck. I held onto him tighter, and kissed him as a response to his statement. 

As we pulled apart again, I felt him pull me outside, where it was quieter, and he led me to the steps of Hanschen’s porch. He then sat down, and yanked me beside him, where I then sat with my head on his shoulder. I had almost forgotten about Ernst, until I noticed him a few paces away, laughing with his arms wrapped around a blonde boy, who I then realized was Hanschen. 

As Melchior and I kissed again, I fully understood that no boy, real or not, could ever compare to Melchior Gabor, never.

**Author's Note:**

> The songs I mention are "Coin Operated Boy", by the Dresden Doll's (which is a really beautiful angsty song), and "I'll Follow You Into the Dark", by Death Cab for Cutie (which is a beautiful love song, although it is very sad). I really wanted to use these songs because they kind of mean a lot to me, but are not my own work obviously. On a separate note, this characterizations might be a little different than normal, to that I apologize, but thanks for reading, anyways.


End file.
